PRIDE
I’ve been a hair’s breadth away in losing my pride, got to the point where I tried calling and texting him at 3:30 AM!!! ended-up nothin! There were no response, not even a “bakit?” If ever he got to pick up his phone, I would be begging for sure, again and again and again! HAHAHAHA! been drinking to have fun/forget, keep losing track, still trying to figure things out (which I already knew that it was my fault) NAKAKASAWA LANG. Ako mismo sa sarili ko, nagsasawa na ako. 3 fucking years and am still not over it! He offered his friendship, accepted it and sobrang hirap na makisama, lalo na in my situation. Hate his cousins for telling me things about him and his gf, mas nalulungkot ako. mas emotionally akong nahihirapan and mostly, DI NAKAKATULONG. Just want to let these out, wala naman kasi na akong ibang sinasabihan pa kaya might as well, type it na lang! HAHA! I just love talking to myself. and now, I have to deal with one of my secret-shifters, yosi.
Merry Christmas!
25th of December and am celebrating Christmas alone. This is my very first time to write in this so-called blog of “unsaid thoughts and unexpressed feelings”. They say writing is one way of releasing what you feel and making you feel relieved. Oh well, nobody knows about this except Janine, which I know she’s not interested in visiting. I’m back to these feelings again, feels so lonely and all alone. Though, I had fun last night with my friends, next thing you know, you’re all alone. got disappointed of Daddy not liking our karikatyur gift, been left out by family, been insulted by friends, felt guilty by ex-bf’s talks, but it’s all good. isang yosi lang, ok na ko. i’ve released all of those. however, ang heavy pa din ng feeling or am just missing those times, where I have someone who I can share/tell of what’s happening to me. I know that Christmas is not about us, having what we want or need, pero wala lang. I just feel so sad. Like there’s no one who cares.
